I'm
thinking about back when
I
couldn't have been even ten
Ant
I was tryin to figure out who I was
You
see kids are mean
They
see it as it 's seen
How
they 're taught to see without diplomacy
The
Race or the color of a person 's face
But
I found I must have been the only one
Profound
I
found that I was getting treated different
and
wanted to know why
how
I was seen in others eye
I
would go to a lake and play out the stakes
Trying
to play Marko polo with the white kids
They
would stare and shy away
And
call me names
But
I still didn't recognize the pain of bigotry
They
called me darkie
And
all the games morphed to keep away from me
And
I started to see.
But
back in the hood
It
wasn't all good because
My
brother and sisters where mean
Cause
they thought I was in between
I
couldn't figure out how I was seen
Taunted
and teased they called me white boy./
I
didn 't understand
My
dad and grandfathers where all black man
And
my moms an her moms and moms where African
But
it happened all the time
They
where bending my mind
Separating
me from my kind
With
words that began to unwind My ego
As
I built up a resent for whatever evil
Made
me different
Running
home crying
I
didn 't haveconfusion in my home
We
all looked red bone.
My
friends in the hood
Traded
me good, but I started to see
West
Baltimore was darker than me
It
was at school where I t came out
Special
treatmentno doubt
I
'd get what I wanted d with out a pout
From
the bourgeoisie middle class teachers
Who
saw my potential
The
judged from my class
That
I could pass
My
completion and enunciation
Decided
my education
Gave
me attention
And
explanations
To
my questions
While
my darker brother and sisters where reprimanded for not knowing
Were
kept from growing
They
made me their pet
And
I thought I was set
But
I was loosing a bet
As
I got on the track to :success
But
in the yard , it was getting too hard
The
divide was wide as I sat on the side
The
games and the names where hurting the same
My
shame was that I couldn 't be me and have anyone see
That
I didn 't ask to be separated in that
That
it just happened one day
I
went to go playand my friends shrugged away
I
became a resentful nerd
Not
following the herd keeping my words and
Finding
ways to be heard.
I
found fiends that were like me '
The
light skinnded ones you see
With
them I could just be..
But
back in my hood
There
was a shift from being good
In
order to be cool
We
would ditch school
And
act a fool
We
'd plan us some capers
And
fuck with some haters
Go
to other schools
And
pick on some sad fools.
But
often we 'd get caught
The
steaks were low we thought
Cause
we were juveniles and all the wile
We
where just havin fun after all.
But
here 's the deal
I
could walk down the hall
Like
nothing at all &
Work
in progres
bd