Drowning in my tears

Trembling in fear
I realize that fear keeps me away from here
Here being that place of peace and comfort
Home safe and warm
With icons from the past aged and worn
with dreams of a peaceful future.
I cry to wash the fear from my eyes.
burning down my cheeks like lava
flowing to the sea
My tears taste of the sea
Repugnant salt like bathing in an oyster bed.
 I dive to the bottom and shuck through the hideous rough shells
Looking for that pearl .
Delicate seed of time worn into form
from a grain of sand.
It makes it all worth while in the end
as you ascend
chasing the bubbles to the surface to ponder
your plundered booty.
You expect it to look like the ones on the necklace.
Shiny round
Almost  wanting it to have a pre drilled hole.
But then you notice that it is shaped like an embryo
Tapered with little buds.
The beginning of a miracle
Plucked  from it's bed before it's time .

I gasp for air with nostrils clogged
The lights are dim in my room and I try to stay afloat
Clutching my baby pearl  sorry for disturbing his salty peace.
Realizing....
I'm drowning in my own tears..

Bd 6:36 PM  Sun, Jan 2, 2005